Jobana: A Few Reasons To Love Again

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The post is dedicated to people struggling to find reasons to love again.

I accept there isn?t a one size fits all explanation and acknowledges there are varying degrees of hurt but I promise to approach this subject cautiously and hopes someone would get inspired to love again.

Emotions are bound to run high because there?s a sense of hurt, betrayal and possibly neglect. Besides it?s difficult to really take a position on loving again once an abuse has taken place, dreams are shattered; there is a break down in friendships/relationships?..

However I subscribe to the school of thought which discourages complete closure because there could always be genuine reasons to love again.

Love

The Dictionary.Com defines love as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. A strong liking for someone or a feeling of warm personal attachment (parent, child, friend..)

It is a basic human emotion valuing the other person?s/party?s needs and happiness as much as your own.

Renowned psychologist Elaine Hatfield suggests there are two basic types of love:

a) compassionate love

b) passionate love.

Compassionate love: is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, trust and it?s developed from feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for each other.

Passionate love: is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection

This post comes from the heart and it attempts to focus on the reasons why one chooses not to love again and present a few suggestions for you to CONSIDER opening your heart to love.

It?s important to note that I?m writing based on personal experience and counselling studies.

Is it going to be easy?

Er!!! NOOOO!!!! but it?s definitely worth looking into.

Sometimes we find ourselves in different or difficult circumstances and as a result we come up several reasons why it?s no longer necessary to show or express love again.

These range from:

Being deeply hurt by your friend, spouse, family member, colleague??
Being dumped or ditched by your boyfriend/girlfriend, partner?.
A breach of trust and a feeling of betrayal
Your secrets exposed and weakness used against you.
People making mockery or the fool out of you.
Infidelities dealing a huge blow to your marriage/relationship giving rise to a divorce or break up.
Lies being peddled about you or some people just wanting to be intentionally mean to you.
You?ve been slated, scorned and gossiped about.
There?s no longer a sign of commitment in your friendship/relationship.
You?ve been abused and at times may have experienced grievous bodily harm
People within your circle have shown so much selfishness.
You showed love and care to people but it wasn?t appreciated.

There are so many examples but these are the few that come to mind immediately.

These are painful experiences and when one considers the entire trauma, pain and hurt, it certainly feels JUSTIFIED not to love again and no one is TO BLAME.

But the question is:

How long can you go on living your life with so much closure and bitterness?

You shouldn?t respond in hurry because you need to consider:

a) The effect of the damage caused physically, mentally, spiritually, socially?.

b) The concept of healing; which takes time and you must be ready to give it a chance

c) The truth which is; ?Hurtful memories can?t be erased and sadly you?ve got to live with the scars.

SO??

?Is it worth loving again??

I?d leave that for you to decide.

Once again the aim of this post is to suggest a few reasons /benefits for loving again; leaving you to make an informed decision at the appropriate time.

In no particular order they are as follows:

It?s a wonderful experience.
Being hurt or experiencing a broken relationship is never the end of the road because somehow love seems to find a way back to your heart.
There are support groups, forums, licensed professionals, friends, family members always willing to provide a listening ear and put you back on track with reference to loving again.
It feeds the need for affection because let?s face it, there are times that you need it
I dare say this but without love, life is meaningless
Sometimes love in itself is a risk and it could just pay off.
This sounds odd but there are people out there wanting/dying to show some love from a sincere heart.
Sometimes it?s best not to be alone for the rest of your life and love tackles the feeling of alienation.
People will always be drawn to you.
You can gradually rebuild trust.
You deserve the all the good things that life and love has to offer
It promotes intimacy.
You regain your self confidence; rebuild your esteem by simply loving again.
You experience the peace and happiness you so much desire.
There is always someone to talk to and possibly help you out.
You develop new relationships and friendships
Sometimes there is no point being bitter.
Forgiveness has a way of bringing healing to your mind and soul.
Not everyone is bad, horrible or would possibly behave like your friends, ex.
This may be slightly controversial but at times people don?t intentionally set out to hurt you.
Everyone has their flaws because no one is perfect.
You tend to make progress in different areas of your life as a result of choosing to love again.
It gives you the opportunity to share your joys, happiness, sadness, difficulties with someone else.
Several studies show that love helps maintain brain vitality and ward off mental decline.
Studies also show that loving others contributes to longevity, better mental health, boosts the immune system, reduces stress, and diminishes the effects of physical maladies
It tends to reduce ones stress levels because there are memorable moments to make you feel at ease.